Trump Just Won the Presidential Election

After surviving an assassination attempt in Butler, PA, a defiant and proud Trump was whisked away by his secret service detail with blood on his face and his fist high in the sky. While the staunchest anti-Trump and pro-Biden voters out there are unlikely to change their mind, the majority of American voters are still undecided about their final candidate. But in a moment on a hot Pennsylvania afternoon, Trump changed from a villain against democracy to a hero for democracy by taking a bullet in defense of the country he loves – or at least that's how his campaign is gonna spin it!

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